Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Well that was the fastest, most boring , most unproductive weekend so far this year. Everyone is back and school just started again today weeeee. Well that time of year has come again that time when papers start to be due and tests are to be done. Of course during this time a strange sickness claims the students calle Hateus Schoolitis. In laymens terms it means "Oh my god! the work! i want to gouge my eyes out with a fork". Now many of you maybe wondering "Do I have Hateus Schoolitis?". Well there is a simple test that you, yourself can apply to check to see if you are coming down with this hideous, frustrating diesese. Firstly , does slamming your head into a wall, book , door , or person seem like more fun then going to class or studying? Second do you get cold chills , cold sweat or headaches when faced with writing in any form even menus? Do you write fanfics about rising to power or gaining super powers and killing and or maiming the entire faculty and or crappy caffiteria staff? If you or anyone else you know answered yes to any of these questions then you more then likely will die.
But do not worry there IS a cure. Immediatly admisnister 1 nap followed by some sort of caffiene laced substance (coffee and chocolate are two common things). Next put away all text books and read a real book for fun none of that extra credit get ahead of the course shit. Second DO NOT under any circumstances start on or look at rough copies, outlines or summaries of any of you papers. This point is extremly important, if you do happen to glance or heaven forbid scan on of these texts don't panic immediatly take another nap followed by atleast two more douse of your prefered caffiene. If the stress and or symptoms increase or do not lessen i recommend that you take a bath in peanut butter (smooth peanut butter is ok but Chunky is the prefered treatment).

By now some of you maybe wondering "Wait, is he a real, doctor" and I am here to say that while i technecly dont have a PHD or anything like that the reason is that i care too much about you people to make you wait 7 long years for me to go through proper channels to obtain what I was born to do and that is heal. More of you may be wondering "Wait I thought doctors were supposed to wear pants?" this is a common misconception. You see a doctor of rare dieseses such as Hateus Schoolitis gets his knowledge directly from the extra brains stored in his or hers thigh and knee bones. You see when pants are put on the telepathic link between these brains is reduced and makes reaction times slower so as such we are required to remove our pants to help you the people feel better and get well. (and the breeze is nice)

Also by now some of you may be wondering where I come up with this stuff and I am here to tell you that it is a gift.... or wait was it a diesese (skitzafrenia? , the deep down crazy's?) no its deffinatly not a dieses its a gift (from Santa I think maybe the Easter bunny). Anywho I should end this cause frankly its starting to scare even me but really what are you going to do eh? So in conclusion School sucks and life after school isnt much better (what? you wanted something positive? go watch sesame street ya freaks)

---Steve has left the server---